We want to tell you about the dos Reis (name changed to protect their identity) family shown above. They demonstrate many of the strengths and challenges that Caboverdean families face. This particular family lived, until recently, about a block from our house. In this short time they have worked their way into our lives and our hearts.
Here is where they lived. A classic old house in a classy older neighborhood, but the house has been abandoned since we arrived here, At night it is the perfect haunted house. The owner replaced the wooden shutters about a year ago, but still no one moved in.
One of our wheelchair recipients, who lives on the street in his wheelchair, used to use the front porch as his bedroom several times a week. We noticed that he stopped doing that about the time it appeared that some one had moved into the side yard of the house. That group seemed to have moved out and then someone else moved in.
That second family was the dos Reis family. Only part of the house was open to the family allowed by the owner to stay there rent free in order to provide some protection for the home. It had no bathroom, no electricity and no water.
Even though they lived close, we would have never known them if the young missionaries had not found them and began teaching them the restored gospel. I still remember how excited the elders were to find them, the perfect family. They invited us to share a family home evening with them and other members at the church. Soon after we stopped by their home to see where they lived and get better acquainted.
It was not uncommon to find the kids home alone, as in the photo above. The two little guys are twin boys 3 years old. In the middle is a 5 year old, not quite old enough for school. The baby is a year and a half and will only go with Mom or the oldest girl, 9 year old Joiana (name changed). Joiana is the babysitter while her mother and step dad are out working, looking for work, or looking for food and other necessities of life from whoever will help.
Like most families, there is a lot of mixed parentage. Her step-sister Dercy (name changed), also 8 going on 9, is no blood relative. She is the daughter of Dad but with another woman. Joiana is daughter of Mom but with another man, so she and Dercy share no parentage, but are good friends when together. Dercy lives most of the time with her mother, but joined the family group for some very important family events.
Here are the two girls add dressed up for Mom and Dad’s wedding day. It was Joiana’s Mom’s and Dercy’s Dad’s wedding.
Dad had no regular job, as is the case for so many families, but that was not for not trying. He is a young and very ambitious guy with lots of energy, but not much in the way of education or opportunity. He also seems to lack good connections to get a shot at what work is available. His primary work experience is in construction, which seems to be true of a majority of young, uneducated males.
As the family learned of the restored gospel they were drawn to it. Dad began to attend meetings in our branch and they continued taking lessons with the Elders.
Mom and Dad were not married. They had 4 children between them and had been together for at least 5 years. This is the most common type of relationship in Cape Verde. As their interest in the gospel grew they learned that they would need to get married so they could be baptized. They decided that is what they wanted to do. Getting married costs money and they would need help as money they did not have.
In this case other church members came to help. One of the church leaders offered to pay for their marriage license out of his own pocket. A well known sister who was close to the Mom’s size offered her the use of her wedding dress. One of the Elders had a suit that fit Dad. Others stepped in to provide formal clothing for the whole family. The photo above shows them with their branch president who got married himself a week later. Below is the whole family group including the bride’s father and another family member on the left.
Not only did the branch help them dress for the wedding they put on a nice reception in one of their homes.
Two days later Mom and Dad, Joiana and Dercy, were baptized members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a very happy week for the dos Reis family.
When we learned they did not have water we invited them to come to our house for water if they needed. They didn’t take us up immediately on our offer, but when they did, they were coming by ever other day or so. To clean up for the wedding they, the children, came by for 12 - 5 liter bottles.
When we saw that getting water was a regular need we started to ask the water bearers to do some little cleaning jobs to “pay” for their water. They were very happy to help and our challenge became finding meaning work for them to do. Their parents encouraged them but checked to make sure they were not staying to long.
From the very beginning they would bring an offering of flowers collected from shrubs and trees nearby. Sister Broderick always found a bowl of water to place the flowers in and offer them a drink of water. When they returned the next time we would pluck out the wilted flowers and replace them with new ones. We came to enjoy the color on our eating table.
One of the last visits Joiana brought flowers and a lovely note expressing her love
They were very consistent. The one time Dad came to get water he didn’t bring flowers and we gave him a really hard time.
We would occasionally get a bashful request for food from the girls. After responding a few times, we discussed the need with our branch president and they received help through him. That didn’t stop the children from asking for food when they were home, in charge, and there was no food in the house. We decided to try and teach some welfare principles to Mom and Dad.
We had wanted to invite them for dinner and family home evening and decided this might be a good time to talk with Mom and Dad. We had a very pleasant dinner. The 5 year old didn’t stop eating. We had a short lesson involving the parents then played games proposed by the dos Reis. At the end we talked with Mom and Dad and got their agreement to work with the branch president for help.
We had the opportunity to help Mom make contact with the branch president the next time she came asking for help. We also invited her help when we needed some helpers to move humanitarian supplies to our partners, and she very readily responded.
We tried to help Dad find work through our contacts at the hospital. He was able to interview with the director, but this contact has not yet produced a job.
Dad is interested, among other things, in learning English. He has been one of our more steady students.
Mom is illiterate but really wants to learn to read and write. She was excited to learn that the church is planning to start a literacy program based on the scriptures. We know that would be very good for her and hope it works into her life.
When Dad could still not find work he began looking at alternatives on other islands. So far he has not taken that step.
The oldest daughter is an excellent student. From their home near us she would walk over a mile and a half up and over the saddle and down to Ribeirinha. She started 4th grade this fall which may soon put her beyond her step father in schooling. She has read the Book of Mormon with us a couple of times when she came for water at the right time and does very well.
Janet has tried to help Mom spiritually by reading the Book of Mormon to her. It was hard to find the right time, but Mom sincerely appreciated the exchange.
When our young single adults wanted to do a service project the presidency recognized an opportunity to help the dos Reis family. They gathered food and clothing and delivered it one afternoon.
Dad jumped right into his priesthood duties blessing the sacrament. Unfortunately Mom did not feel comfortable attending church regularly and stopped coming. Dad continued to come for a few weeks alone, but then he too stopped.
In the middle of this Mom found a job caring for an elderly near invalid. The family invited the dos Reis family to move into the home with this elderly woman. They readily accepted the invitation as living conditions were considerably better. We were happy to see them move to where they had water and electricity and a bathroom.
This little dirty footprint from our water bearers stayed in front of our door for many days after they moved
We lost contact with the family for a few weeks, partly due to our travel schedule. We missed having them bring flowers and take home full water bottles and wondered how they were doing. We didn’t know where exactly they had moved and hoped they would make contact with us at church.
About a month ago we were walking through the area near the hospital and we heard the older daughter call our name. Joiana had seen us walking by and invited us to come and see where they live. We were delighted to make contact again and witness their new living arrangements.
Our hope now is that we can find ways to encourage and help them from further away. We were very pleased today when the older daughter showed up at church with her younger brothers. We had invited her to the children’s sacrament meeting program earlier this week. She had come by our place to visit and pick up some pencils to replace some that had been stolen and we had made the invitation. Dad showed up too at the end of the program. This was a great sign.
We feel great love for the dos Reis family.
